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For the Battered Woman in Islam

2005-10-17 22:00:00
For the Battered Woman in Islam:
By Areeb Yasir

You may already know this but choose to ignore it, but there are countless woman in the Muslim community who are being abused (physically and mentally) by their husbands each day. One in particular I know of, and even with her family’s support, she stays with her husband; each night slipping closer to depression. A woman has the right to divorce. It is an ugly thing to say, but in many horrible situations where the husband is just becoming too abusive and has disrespected you, you have every RIGHT to leave.

There is no shame attached to divorce when performed under legit circumstances, and the worry of community face should not control your mind. The community is not there for you when you suffer, so what does it matter if they talk about your divorce, let them; and let them know that Allah has specifically labeled gossip as HARAM. Be proud of yourself, take control and stand up for your rights as a human being and as a woman. You do not deserve abuse, you are not your husband’s slave and you are not his puppet. You are a strong confident woman, who needs to remind herself that you are not alone. Your family is with you, to support you, you need only to tell them of your dilemma. Here is a quote taken directly from the Holy Qur'an:

4:19 O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may Take away part of the dower ye have given them,-except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.

I’ve composed a list to encourage and remind men of who they are and what they’re place is in a marriage:

1) You are the family’s protector and provider.
2) You’re wife is your soul mate and is your partner in home and life.
3) You are the husband and father
4) You’re duty is to provide and love your family
5) You must respect and honor your wife and family
6) You must love and value your wife
7) You are in control only in equal parts with your wife.
8) You SHOULD never hit your wife
9) You SHOULD never abuse your wife or children.
10) You are her husband, she is your wife.

Women should always keep in mind, that even with children in the equation, you still have choices. The first thing you need to remember is that you are HUMAN, that you have needs and rights. Allah has given you the power to protect yourself and protect your rights. Don’t let anyone take those rights from you. DO NOT worry about the community or what the world will say, just do what is right for you. Be true and honest to yourself. Pray to Allah, ask him for help and he will give it to you. He is after all, the most merciful and beneficent. Be a good Muslim person and do what’s best for you.

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